Sex Tips

10 Things Every Woman Wishes You Did During Sex

10 Things Every Woman Wishes You Did During Sex. No matter how into each other you are, relationships will see sex peaks and valleys. It’s easy to fall into a rut or resort to ‘solo time’ during one of those droughts. But let’s kick-start that steam with the most pleasurable things to do to a woman to maximize sexual pleasure.

The female orgasm is more complex than yours and the key to great sex is finding what best works for her to get off. Clitoral stimulation is incredibly important, but don’t discount deep penetration. Sex therapists indicate cervical orgasms (achieved via vaginal penetration) are less common, but can yield more intense orgasms due to the deeper penetration.

1. Pay attention to Non-Verbal Signs During Sex

“I hear stories over and over again about how men are just not responding to the signals that women send.

Learn to be a responsive, tuned-in lover and you will gain serious appreciation from your partners,” says Pella Weisman, a dating coach and licensed marriage and family therapist.

Along with verbal expression, pay attention to their bodily cues (moaning, heavier breathing, increased lubrication) and do more of what you’re doing. For women to climax, it’s usually more about repetition than variation.

If you’re not sure how to interpret a signal, be direct and just ask. Say: “Does that feel good?” or “Do you like that?” or “Does that hurt?” Your partner may have been too shy to tell you, and will appreciate that you asked,” says Weisman.

Likewise, if you’re not sure if your partner is ready for a certain act or move, ask. To quote the popular university campaign, “Consent is sexy.”

2. Foreplay and Afterplay

While some men may think sex is mostly about penetration, a woman needs foreplay and afterplay.

“A woman wants the foreplay to begin way before the act of intercourse, with flirting, texts with sexual innuendoes, and more to warm her up,” says Dr. Gilda Carle, relationship expert and author of 8 Tips to Understand the Opposite Sex. Sex for a woman is not just sex; it’s a physical and emotional reflection of feeling desired.

She’s more apt to be turned on and invested in the intercourse if proper time has been paid to foreplay. Vulva-owners need time to self-lubricate, which will intensify comfort and enjoyment for all parties.

Likewise, “if a guy turns over and dozes off, a woman will often feel abandoned,” Carle adds. Taking the time to shower together, cuddle, or talk can go a long way.

3. Explore Commonly Ignored Hot Spots

A woman wants a man to explore her inside and out with his fingers, and make it an adventure for the two of them. “‘Let’s see if I can find your G-spot,’ for example, could be a mutual exploration for the couple,” says Dr. Gilda. Be sure also to fondle with and kiss often-ignored erogenous zones like her inner thigh, ear, and even her lower back.

4. Play Into Dirty Talk

Women want to feel wanted. “They want to know they are turning you on, and how. They want to feel hot, desired, appreciated, honored,” says Weisman.

Individual preferences vary (dirty, descriptive, romantic), but try out different varieties to see what elicits the best response from your partner.

5. Focus on Clitoral Stimulation

Yes, guys, women want more of it. “Some women like it with a finger (or three) in her ass or vagina at the same time. You can [also] try strong sucking, teasing with your tongue, or using your nose and forehead for pressure on the clitoral area,” says Weisman.

Try different amounts of pressure, rhythms, and duration of time to see what she likes best (for many women, direct contact on the clitoris can be too intense, although they may like rhythmic pressure on the clitoral shaft — the part of a woman’s clitoris that swells when she’s aroused).

6. Worship Her, Not Just Her Orgasm

A woman wants to be sensually stroked and caressed, not grabbed. “One of my clients complains her husband always grabs her breasts, and she feels like a piece of meat,” says Dr. Gilda. “A woman wants to see adoration for her in her man’s eyes.”

If a woman feels like your only goal in bed is to make her orgasm, she may feel like your romp has more to do with your ego than anything else.

7. Prioritize Her Orgasm

Women have the ability to climax multiple times. And that means that your job as her partner is to make sure that women have more of those orgasms. “Many people don’t realize that 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm [see above],” Stacy Rybchin, founder and CEO of My Secret Luxury, a luxury sex toy boutique.

So, yes, you’d be correct in thinking that you can’t just rely on penetration alone to get her off. Rather, consider introducing accessories and toys into bed to help you get into that right position or angle, and find what you both like best.

8. Make Her Feel Pretty

It’s more than just when you are naked. Try for no reason at all, saying, “You’re beautiful!” “Unless you’re talking to Angelina Jolie, we all have one phrase in common that we can never hear enough, and that’s, ‘you’re so beautiful!’ ” says sex and relationship expert Wendy Newman, author of 121 First Dates.

9. Be Spontaneous During Sex With Her

Women like surprises, especially the sexy kind. “Surprising your girlfriend or wife with something that shows you care about her while also showing how sexy you think she is can win you major points,” says Amy Grey, a lingerie specialist.

Some ideas beyond lingerie: knee high socks, a silk robe, or a racy nightgown. When a woman knows you bought something for her while thinking of how hot she’d look in it, it also may inspire her to be a little more adventurous next time she finds herself shopping for naughty underthings.

Or, try gifting her a sensual shared activity like a couples massage or passes to hot yoga to check out together.

10. Pay Attention Outside of Sex, Too

A woman wants to know a guy is going out of his way for her. “It could be a little trinket he picked up because she was on his mind, or a bouquet of flowers he took the time to get. When a guy proves he cares, a woman’s body will be put in his hands,” says Dr. Gilda.

Showing that you’re a caring listener is also key. “A woman wants to know if a man is truly listening to what she’s saying. Listening proves a woman is important enough to a guy for him to want to know what’s on her mind.”

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